How People Grow - 12/28/2009

Today's Mental Image:

You Must Have A Relationship To Grow

How People Grow

by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

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FINDING THE RIGHT CLIMATE

Session 7g

The Role The Body Plays In Growth:

"The BIBLE,

years of research and experience

back up this biblical

reality:"

You Must Have A Relationship

To Grow!

ONE OF THE ROLES THE BODY PLAYS:

I

Grieving and Healing:
The Universality of Imperfection and Suffering:

from

How People Grow

Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Grief and Healing:

God Has Designed Grief To Help Us Get Over Things:

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One of the most important processes in life is grief.  When bad things happen in life, we have to work through them.  Working through bad things is a little like digesting food. In life, we basically digest experience; as we walk through it, take it in, use what is useful, and eliminate waste. When someone dies or when there is another kind of loss or injury inlife, we have to be able to work through that experience and move on, leaving our hearts available for new experiences and relationships.  We get rid of the hurt and pain by grieving and then keep the learning experiences that come with it.

Grief is God's way of getting us through and past things.  And we need the help of others to do that.  Grief can only be accomplished in the context of relationship. [Ecclesiastes 7:3; Romans 12:15; Matthew 5:4]

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Healing The Broken Hearted Occurs Within The Body:

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Relationships provide care, support, structure, and the balm of love to heal hurts.  "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" [Psalm 147:3].  We know from all the commandments in the New Testament that Christ's Body is supposed to be carrying out the work with him.

Healing is part of the grief process, but it is also a different process.  Hurts of rejection, abuse, and abandonment are deep wounds inside people's souls.  These hurts must be lanced, held, medicated, and protected, and other processes applied.  If hurts are deeply healed, people do not repeat these hurts in other relationships, nor do they medicate their wounds in sinful ways, such as with drugs, alcohol, gambling, illicit sex, or other lusts.

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The Universality of Imperfection and Suffering:

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"Well," he said, "I just have to say I feel a lot better already.  You guys are as screwed up as I am!"

[a comment from a young pastor to a sharing group with older pastors/leaders.]

Paul was honest about letting others see he too could hurt, despair of life, and not have it all together. [Phillipians 3:12-14; 2 Corinthians 1:8]  This is a lost art in many Christian circles.  When people find out others struggle too, wonderful things happen. 

1. 
   
   First, they feel less guilty, ashamed, and afraid something is wrong with them.
   
   
   
2. 
   
   Second, they obtain a more accurate view of the standard they are trying to live up to.  Many times the standard is superhuman.
   
   
   
3. 
   
   Third, they gain hope and problem-solving skills.
   
   
   

In othe words, they find out that we are all on the same path.  While we all have different struggles, one thing is certain:  We all struggle.  [And we all are imperfect!]

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Many people find themselves cut off from the church and the healing and protective functions it provides.  In their isolation - or at least the isolated growth plan they are using - they are easy prey for the gates of hell to overpower them.  Wolves don't attack an entire herd.  They attack the one lamb, or the one sick sheep, that has wandered off the path, is alone.

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